The next time you find yourself on a plane, sitting next to someone who cannot resist chattering to you endlessly, quietly pull your laptop out of your bag, carefully open the screen (ensuring the irritating person next to you can see it), and hit this link.

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It's official: Arsenal are toxic.

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That's me on the right.

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Oh dear. I hate to criticise someone who makes the effort to do something, but John O'Farrell's new site, intended as a British version of The Onion is pretty lame. The jokes are tired and obvious. Take this:

Gary Glitter musical fails to find investors

Gary GlitterFollowing the success of Mamma Mia, We Will Rock You, and a host of a nostalgic West End musicals, would-be theatrical impressario Cliff Powell had been confident that there was another hit show just waiting in the wings. However the main investor in the new Gary Glitter musical ‘My Gang!’ today announced that the show now looks unlikely to happen. Mr Powell who has given years of his life to this project said ‘We contacted hundreds of potential investors with the message ‘Do You Wanna Be In My Gang?’ and quite a strong signal came back saying ‘Well, no.’

Maybe it'll get better. Somehow I doubt it. British humour is, with rare exceptions, not a patch on American.

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Someone called Jim has delivered a crushing blow to Daniel Finkelstein's blog:

That last comment led me to delete you from my Bookmarks.

Sorry chum, you just spoiled a good idea for a Times portal with that stupid remark.

What was the post to which Jim took such exception?

Charles Kennedy has just been talking about Tony Blair at Liberal Democrat conference:

One was enough

he told them.

This has not usually been Mr Kennedy's motto.

I thought it was rather funny. But I'm hoping that, by repeating it here, if Jim ever happens to stop by this site, he'll make sure not to bookmark me. Wouldn't want such humourless types to stop by.

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No need to bother reading this piece I know already what it says. .

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