Next time you see a baker begging in the street, feel free to tell him who's to blame for his plight: me. It seems that sales of bread have fallen so sharply in the US as a result of the spread of the Atkins Diet - and what happens there soon follows here - that bakers are pondering a bleak future. One, Sara Lee, is attempting to revive its fortunes with a low carb brand - 'Delightful Bakery Bread' - which will go on sale next week.

I have a pretty good idea what it will be like, since I have tried low carb muffins, chocolate cake, crisps, chocolate and breakfast snacks. They have one thing in common. They all taste like ground cardboard.

I've tasted them because I am a convert to Atkins. Which means I am also a hypocrite. Last year, I wrote on these pages - in response to a report which claimed to find that fatties are thicker than stick insects - that "I'm fat, I'm thick and I'm proud." Fine in theory, perhaps. But it turned out to be a lie. Soon afterwards, I started dieting.

Pure hypocrisy, I admit. So much for being fat and proud. I plead just one factor in mitigation. Take a look at the picture above these words. See what I mean? I think the word is 'jowly'. Less diplomatic souls might say 'porker'.

Let's make a deal. If you have the heart to forgive me, then I won't mention if you, too, need to go on that January tradition - a diet. As millions look in the mirror after the Christmas binge, my message is simple: it's a doddle. Within a fortnight of going on Atkins, I'd lost five pounds. Five months on and I have, so far, lost over three stone - with more to come. For the first time ever, I'm on a diet and don't have constant hunger pangs. I'm eating plentifully and the weight is cascading off.

I've noticed a common reaction from people I meet. Some are fascinated and want to know all the boring details. But quite a few are, well, angry. They seem somehow put out that I am losing weight so easily and so enjoyably. I'm now used to a look of admiration and happiness for my success turning, when I mention Atkins, to sneering. It's usually followed by a variation on the theme of 'well, it isn't a proper diet', as if the only acceptable form of weight loss is one which involves suffering.

If these people themselves were fat I could understand it, but my fat friends seem to be hugely supportive. No, it's normal sized people who seem affronted. It's also an exclusively male phenomenon. Neither I, nor anyone I know doing Atkins, has ever had such a response from a woman.

One newspaper diary seemed to become mildly obsessed - and rather offended - by my weight loss, suggesting its readers send me "gifts of stollen and mince pies" for Christmas.

They weren't as clever as they thought they were being, since I've already been giving myself small periods off Atkins anyway. I spent a week in Vienna, where it would have been a crime not to eat cake, and last week I stuffed every carb I could find down my throat. But the more potatoes, chocolate and bread I put inside me, the hungrier I felt. Within a day back on Atkins, my shrunken appetite had returned and I'm finding it as easy as ever.

Now that the weight is dropping off, I'll happily - of course - endorse the report which so annoyed me last year. It wasn't specific about the IQ points lost per pound gained. Nor did it say if it worked in reverse. But that's an assumption I'm prepared, for the good of mankind, to make. And since I've lost 45 pounds so far, I must have put on quite a few IQ points. So if you've any problems that need solving or any philosophical dilemmas which need unravelling, just get started on Atkins - or ask me to apply my now enormous brain power.

There is one downside, I have to confess. I have become a weight loss bore. So if you see me in the street, perhaps it would be best for your mental health if you avoided me.

In the gym, I try to lift the amount of weight I have lost and wonder how I avoided a heart attack. So yes, I'm now an evangelist for weight loss and for Atkins. Call me a hypocrite if you want. I don't care. I feel better than I can ever remember before. And I despise the self-interested charlatans and nutritionists who would stop me and others from losing weight and enjoying it.

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Turn away if you're bored witless by my Atkins news...

I've had a charming reply from the Guardian diarist to whom I referred in this post below. If by some strange twist of logic you are interested in this ongoing saga, you can read her response in the comments section.

As of this morning it was 39 pounds.

And yes, to the cod psychologists who have suggested that I am revealing all on this site so I have an extra incentive - humiliation if I fail - first to keep going and then keep it off, you are spot on.

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