The Yazzmonster thinks bloggers are 'malign creeps'. Malign creep. Hmmm. Now which Independent columnist might that phrase be applied to?

And she has been affronted by the behaviour of two people recently:

One came disgracefully late to dinner the other day because she was lost in Second Life ( sorry to bring it up, S) and another took me to lunch and never looked into my eyes, lost in his bloody BlackBerry. All around Le Caprice, many others were indulging in the same pleasure, playing with the cheeky machines sitting indecently on their crotches. It was not nice.

Out of context that does seem rude behaviour. But put yourself in their shoes. You have been invited to dine at the Yazzmonster's home. Who knows, maybe you were under the weather or not thinking, but for some reason you accepted. It might indeed be rude to turn up late, but surely it would take an extraordinarily hard heart not to understand why you'd want to turn up as late as possible to such an encounter. And with one of the most gloriously far-fetched excuses ever: "I'm so sorry, Yasmin. i was transfixed by Second Life".

As for lunch with her... Wouldn't you simply have to spend the entire time staring at your Crackberry, to ward off the horror of having to engage with the Yazzmonster sitting opposite you?