My reply to both honourable gentlemen is here:

http://nourishingobscurity.blogspot.com/2006/10/blogbattle-stephen-pollard-and-oliver.html

Oh geez, now von Kamm has got in on the act (at least I think he has - three lines of Kamm and I'm fast asleep). I would have thought that Kamm's time was more valuable (on an average day, £20,000 + tips) than this.

In times gone by, London apprentices used to hurl brickbats at despised dignitaries. Even political giants like Cromwell were attacked in this manner. Today, if we have the temerity to rightfully refer to a political midget by his diminutive, all hell breaks out.

Before we know it they're going to pull a de Menenzes on us merely for giggling at John Major (the memory of him listening to Acker Bilk while reading Stephen Hawkins' Brief History of Time still sends me into uncontrollable fits). Therefore it's time for us to put a stop to this attack on our inalienable right to take the piss before things get totally out of hand. Kamm, Finkelstein and Pollard (aka "The Three Mousketeers" - motto: "A knish! A knish! Our kingdom for a knish!") have to be put in their place. I would suggest that whenever K, F or P are sighted we sing the first couple of lines of the Cameron campaign song which borrows heavily from this:

"We are the Cameroonies, happy girls and boys. Make your request. We'll not refuse you. We're here just to amuse you."