OK – I finally have Adrian Slade, Hugo Rodallega, Wilhelm Furtwängler’s Piano Quintet in C, Dom Mintoff, Konni Zilliacus and Tony Blair sorted out in my head but where does Gordon Brown come in?.

I know (that is, I assume) that this is a light, humorous, little post. But I can't help picking up on the last sentence. What you meant wasn't "It's impossible to keep a secret..."; what you meant was "It is impossible to have a secret kept...". Keeping a secret, as you of course know, is something YOU do. And how well you do it, as you of course also know, depends on whether you really keep a secret to yourself, or whether you regard a secret as something you tell only one person at a time. Please don't misunderstand me to be preaching about secret-keeping morality. It's the grammar I'm concerned about.