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Developed by:
| July | 25 |
| 2006 |
Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.
Just before takeoff, an American sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a coke."
"Don't get up," said the American, "I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you."
As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and spat in it.
When the American returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too."
Again, the American obligingly went to fetch it.
While he was gone the other Arab picked up the American's other shoe and spat in it.
When the American returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes."
MessageSpace
Take this hilarious joke and replace "Arab" with "Jew". Then watch as Stephen Pollard screams about anti-Semitism.
He wouldn't scream about anti-Semitism, Stuarta, he would simply deem it incoherent, because it is. It makes no sense in our historical reality.
I have seen the joke, I believe, with the part of the American played by an Israeli.
OTOH, if it were 60 years ago, and the American was a Jew/Israeli and the Arab was a Brit, while not pleasant, there would be a historical context that supported it.
Must I really fill in all the blanks? As you say, the part of the American can be filled by an Israeli. Equally, we can substitute "Jew" for "Arab" and "Arab for American" -- then it makes perfect sense given the current situation.
The point is that Pollard would not tolerate such a "joke" being peddled if the target was a Jew. However, he is apparently quite happy to make clear his general loathing of Arabs via this alleged humour.
All this sidesplitting anecdote tells the world is that Stephen Pollard has an undifferentiating dislike of Arabs, and finds the thought of urinating in their drink hilarious. In other words it's racist, and given his constant loud commentary about anti-Semitism, bespeaks of rank hypocrisy.
Cool it, Stuart. Save your health.
Yes, take a Valium.
Joke is as old as the hills. Heard it 40 years ago, except it involved a Glasgow Rangers supporter who ended up standing (yes, standing) with the Glasgow Celtic supporters at the "wrong" end of Parkhead at an Old Firm game. It also involved turds in shoes and piss in coffee. Need I say more?
Stephen's version of the joke was published a couple of weeks ago in an interview with Britain's leading female Muslim comic. So how about some original humour?
My contributions:
1) La Comedie Francaise - I suppose you think that's funny.
2) Harley Davidson - Does my bum look big on this?
Yours aye, Jock (who remembers standing watching fitba)
I'm afraid you all got it wrong, and it's primarilly that you don't get the joke. This joke originally is told about an Israeli Jew vs an Arab, and isn't really funny any other way. You see, it is a JEWISH joke, as I will explain.
BTW this joke appeared in Readers Digest many years ago, and they probably didn't get it either. You see, when the world at large looks at any level of Arab Israeli conflict, they see two groups who hate each other, and both are to blame, and this is a "cycle of violence", and there is "moral equivalence", and on and on. The truth, however, is, as most of the readers of this blog seemingly realize, that Jews generally have no interest in hurting Arabs, although they don't have much love for them either. Jews don't view conflicts as a victor being mightier, only smarter.
So what does this have to do with the joke? Well, the average reader thinks that the Israeli Jew won the confrontation because he pissed in the cokes (obviously starting an unprovoked fight with his Arab seatmates). But the real joke is that the Jew won the confrontation because he DIDN'T piss in the Cokes, but the Arabs think he did (to a Jew, pissing in anyone's coke is a lowly, disgusting thing to do, so any Jew understands that the joke can't mean that he pissed in the Coke). So it's the Jewish brain against the Arab hate, not might against might.
HM's explanation, although perfectly workable within the confines of the joke, leaves me confused. If the Jew thinks that pissing in a coke is a lowly and disgusting thing to do, why does he want the Arab to think of him in this way? There's no brain here. It suggests the Jew is full of self-loathing, and is giving the Arab something to hate him for. The Jew doesn't even get the satisfaction of having a piss.
There's a problem on another level, which is what marks out a good comedian from just a joke. The funniest comedians manage to poke fun at themselves. Jokes which poke fun at others are never as funny, they just smack of a superiority complex.
Sorry about the above, by the way. Explaining jokes always kills them, a sign of a lack of humour. Much too late to be delving into this sort of stuff...