All hail the glory that is Hilary Armstrong! Not for Ms Armstrong the grubby behind-Speaker’s-chair deals that characterise the behaviour of previous chief whips. Not for Ms Armstrong the demeaning scramble for last-minute votes to push through the Government’s legislation. Not for Ms Armstrong the banality of calculating Labour MPs’ support for the executive’s proposals.

No, none of that. The government Chief Whip has a far more rounded appreciation of her place in the British constitution. Walter Bagehot wrote of the “dignified” and the “efficient” parts of the constitution. How he would have relished the challenge that the neither dignified nor efficient Ms Armstrong offers to his analysis. She has, you see, created a much-needed constitutional niche for herself. She has made clear the importance of a third element of the constitution, the “completely useless”.

Though some may accuse her of breathtaking incompetence, wiser observers recognise that she works to a far more important agenda than the Government’s business. She works for the good of the nation.

The Racial and Religious Hatred Bill was, as she clearly knew, no more than a sop to the Muslim Council of Britain — and, as such, not worthy of passage through the House. Ms Armstrong’s cunning plan was, as is surely obvious, to appear to be a total waste of space unable to secure the Government’s business. But in reality she was securing instead the needs of the country.

Masquerading as a buffoon, incapable of basic maths, she is in truth a towering political figure to whom the nation ought to offer regular prayers of thanks. Praise be to Hilary Armstrong!

She demonstrates an equally important appreciation of the needs of her “line manager”, as a woman of her intellect and savvy must surely think of the Prime Minister. She knows how important it is that the nation is governed by a man properly rested, and takes no heed of those small-minded souls who consider that the PM’s presence in the House to vote on his own legislation may be a sensible precaution.

What nonsense! Nothing could be more important for a chief whip than securing the Prime Minister sufficient time for sleep. And yet there are, bizarrely, those who are now calling for her replacement. Do they not realise there is an education Bill coming up?