Westminster has been abuzz this week with rumours that Charles Kennedy is on his way out as Liberal Democrat leader, forced from office as a result of a rebellion by members of what his party ludicrously styles its Shadow Cabinet.

But for all Mr Kennedy’s manifest flaws, the identity of the leader is the least of the party’s problems. The Lib Dems are a make-believe party with a make-believe philosophy, a make-believe reputation and make-believe MPs. That its main spokesmen choose to refer to themselves as Shadow Cabinet members is par for the make-believe course.

They are make-believe because their only purpose is protest against the two main parties. In areas where Labour barely exists, such as the South West, they are the anti-Conservative party. Where the Conservatives are effectively absent, such as some inner cities, they are the anti-Labour party. Lib Dem MPs are make-believe MPs because they are elected not for what they represent but for what they do not.

It is not that party members have no philosophical stances; it is that they have too many. Some — the beard and sandals brigade — are as left-wing as most Labour members. Others — the so-called “Orange Book” liberals — are genuine Gladstonian liberals. The rest are an incoherent mixture of the two.

As the ultimate failure of Tony Blair’s attempt to fuse Real Labour’s urge to tax and spend with his own new Labour outlook shows, some divides are simply irreconcilable.

The removal of Mr Kennedy will make not a blind bit of difference. Sir Menzies Campbell, the bookies’ favourite, is a typically British construct: a man respected not because of what he says but how he says it. He might appear to have gravitas, but on every issue of substance he is away with the fairies, such as his passion for ceding power to the EU and his denial of a militant Islam threat.

Simon Hughes’s incoherent brand of populist community politics managed to get only 14.8 per cent of the vote in the London mayoral election. And Mark Oaten, who does at least have a genuinely liberal philosophy, is disliked by most of the party precisely because of that philosophy — as is true of any other Orange Book liberal who might stand.

Charles Kennedy might well be a waste of space. But his party’s main problem is that it is the Lib Dem party that he leads.