More from the Guardian Diary on my holiday activities:

Shock news in the Leslie Welsh Plate for Feats of Memory that seemed certain to be won by David Blunkett. The former home secretary was leading comfortably as we approached the home straight, but his challenge faded after judge Ali Campbell returned from making a few phone calls and successfully persuaded Stephen Pollard that Denise van Outen should get the nod. Denise told a Sunday supplement in March that her most embarrassing memory was diving into a swimming pool aged eight and losing her bikini top, forgetting that she once flashed 100,000 people at Party in the Park and presented the excruciating Something for the Weekend. A shock winner, then, although it later emerged that the online betting exchanges had taken huge sums on a Denise victory from a user going under the moniker rivieragigolo97. Ali immediately appointed Lord Hutton to investigate.

...After lucid arguments from judge Stephen Pollard, the David Blair Silver Horseshoe for Propitious Timing went to comedian Peter Kay, for his John Smith's "I'm Not Your Daddy" ad campaign.

I don't want to be a killjoy, but am I the only person who thinks that, much as I'd like it to be scathing and witty, none of this is actually funny?