Stephen Pollard • Glorious

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October	18
2004

Glorious

» Posted on October 18, 2004 10:01 PM » Category: US politics

Personally, I'm not sure which of the correspondents to the Guardian I'm with.
It's either this one:

Have you not noticed that Americans don't give two shits what Europeans think of us? Each email someone gets from some arrogant Brit telling us why to NOT vote for George Bush is going to backfire, you stupid, yellow-toothed pansies ... I don't give a rat's ass if our election is going to have an effect on your worthless little life. I really don't. If you want to have a meaningful election in your crappy little island full of shitty food and yellow teeth, then maybe you should try not to sell your sovereignty out to Brussels and Berlin, dipshit. Oh, yeah - and brush your goddamned teeth, you filthy animals. Wading River, NY

or this one:

Consider this: stay out of American electoral politics. Unless you would like a company of US Navy Seals - Republican to a man - to descend upon the offices of the Guardian, bag the lot of you, and transport you to Guantanamo Bay, where you can share quarters with some lonely Taliban shepherd boys. United States

On the other hand, this one is spot on:

Hey England, Scotland and Wales,
Mind your own business. We don't need weenie-spined Limeys meddling in our presidental election. If it wasn't for America, you'd all be speaking German. And if America would have had a president, then, of the likes of Kerry, you'd all be goose-stepping around Buckingham Palace. YOU ARE NOT WANTED!! Whether you want to support either party. BUTT OUT!!!
United States

But this one has it just right:

THE AMERICAN TAXPAYERS HAVE SPENT TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS PROTECTING THE PEOPLES OF THE EU, AND WHAT DO WE GET IN RETURN. BETRAYAL, BETRAYAL, BETRAYAL. I HAVE BEEN TO YOUR COUNTRY, THE COUNTRY OF MY ANCESTORS, AND I KNOW WHY THEY LEFT.

MAY YOU HAVE TO HAVE A TOOTH CAPPED. I UNDERSTAND IT TAKES AT LEAST 18 MONTHS FOR YOUR GREAT MEDICAL SERVICES TO GET AROUND TO YOU. HAVE A GREAT DAY.
Harlan, Kentucky

MessageSpace

Comments

Hmmmmmm - minus points for rudeness, plus points for funny. I particularly liked the correspondent who forwarded the e-mail to the CIA and FBI.

Stated by: MD on October 19, 2004 12:39 AM

funny and so right.

Stated by: louis naylor on October 19, 2004 2:39 AM

I won’t wipe away a tear when the US Navy Seals descent upon Brussels and transfer the Belgian government to Guantanamo Bay. BTW, it will be an easy walk, then the average Belgian soldier is 44 years old. Don’t forget the wheelchairs!

Flanders in Belgium

Stated by: Johan Van Beek on October 19, 2004 8:16 AM

Such missives are chiefly of interest in demonstrating that there is no longer any "special relationship" worth preserving at governmental level. Leave the USA and Israel to each other's tender mercies.

A psychologist would have fun considering why so unhealthy a population is so noisily proud of its teeth. Because the more they have, the faster they can increase their obesity?

Stated by: All the Hits on October 19, 2004 11:08 AM

Hey fellow patriots, if we want to get all steamed about one half of the Anglosphere interfering with the internal politics of the other bit - what about US meddling over Northern Ireland? Either for British America-whatever cheerleaders this simply doesn't matter, or you're actually in favour of it. Incredible - and saying we've brought it on ourselves is no excuse (for America) as they didn't have to accept Blair's entreaties to get involved. If John Major and Douglas Hurd deserve credit for anything, it's that they tried to stave off this arrogant intrusion into our sovereign business.

Stated by: Karl Rove [sic] on October 19, 2004 1:12 PM

All the hits,

"there is no longer any special relationship worth preserving at the governmental level" ? Because individual US citizen's take offense at UK citizens advising them on their vote? Huh?

A psychologist might wonder why you thought it germain to bring up Israel. You sound jealous. Oh well, for a certain "type" all roads lead to Israel.

signed, a wishful member of the vast right-wing, neo-conservative, zionist, capitalist, military industrial complex, christian fundamentalist (you fill in the blank)...

Stated by: stacy on October 19, 2004 1:40 PM

The last one is the most spot-on and amusing. One has to wonder what exactly the Guardian were up to by this vile campaign. Are they really trying to lose what little credibility they have ever had?

PS: I am ashamed of some the meddling that certain American politicians and Irish-American groups have done in the past. I have done my best over the years to stand against it.

Stated by: Andrew Ian Dodge on October 19, 2004 1:49 PM

"Leave the USA and Israel to each other's tender mercies."

In the light of nearly 2,000 years of bitter history, I think I'm safe in saying that the Jewish State is far safer leaving its security to the tender mercies of the USA rather than Europe's. Having had sixty years to think over the manifold crimes they committed against the Jewish people, the gentiles of Europe have obviously decided they did rather a good job last time around, and now it's time for a second bite at the cherry.

And please, let's not have any more of your revisionist British history. Whether it was your complete failure to lift a finger to help the drowning Jews of Europe (you fought a war in spite of and not because of the Jews), or your Nazi-like behaviour in post-war Palestine, you Brits proved beyond question that had the German invaded in 1940, you'd have behaved a little better than the Poles and Lithuanians towards your Jewish citizens, and a lot worse than the French.

Stated by: Hans on October 19, 2004 3:43 PM

No nationality is ever worse than the French.

Stated by: Julie Cleeveley on October 19, 2004 5:05 PM

Stacy: "A psychologist might wonder why you thought it germain to bring up Israel. You sound jealous."

I don't mind insults, honey, but to save you embarrassment in future, it's "germane": nothing to do with the Jackson Five.

Stated by: All the Hits on October 19, 2004 7:08 PM

All the Hits,

Thanks for the spelling correction. The only thing more embarrassing than an obvious misspelling is the inability to defend an ill-thought out comment.

Your Honey,

Stated by: stacy on October 19, 2004 7:58 PM

Stacy -- ignore him. He'll lose interest and move on. As my father used to say, when you encounter a dog dropping on the sidewalk, it's better to step around it than kick it out of the way.

As for the letters to the Guardian: I'll bet the editors sifted through hundreds of hostile letters in order to pick out these gems. You just know all the polite, carefully written letters were tossed in the special vertical file by the door.

By the way, it's very endearing to see more evidence that our genial host has a quality almost unknown on the politically activist left: a sense of humor.

Stated by: Harry on October 19, 2004 8:09 PM

"weenie-spined Limeys, stupid, yellow-toothed pansies"

And these are the people we are sending the Black Watch in to support. Damn them all!

Stated by: Dr Pansy Carious on October 19, 2004 10:22 PM

On the other Hans...

And please, let's not have any more of your revisionist British history.

Maybe the Yanks just felt guilty...

"During the war period only 21,000 (Jews) were admitted to the United States, 10 per cent of the number allowed under quota law. The reason for this was public hostility. All the patriotic groups, from the American Legion to the Veterans of Foreign Wars, called for a total ban on immigration. There was more anti-Semitism during the war than at any time in American history...In 1942 - 4 ...every synagogue in New York's Washington Heights was desecrated...In May 1942, The Boston Globe ran the headline "Mass Murders of Jews in Poland Pass 700,000 Mark" but buried it on page 12. The New York Times called it "probably the greatest mass slaughter in history" but gave it only two inches
Paul Johnson: The Holocaust - from " A History of the Jews"

What was it you said about avoiding 'dog-droppings' Harry?

Stated by: mike on October 19, 2004 10:36 PM

Of the four emails Stephen cites, only the second doesn't commit the cardinal sin of insulting someone other than the source of offense.

Pretty lame choice, Stephen...

Stated by: Charles Stewart on October 20, 2004 12:22 AM

I've met about as many Brits as Americans in my life. And the stereotype about British teeth is a lot more true than the Guardianistas stereotype of Americans being ignorant overweight slobs waiting breathlessly for their betters telling 'em what's what.

Hey, and I bet some of the dentists are Jewish, too! It's all coming together now, "All the hits".

Stated by: angua on October 20, 2004 1:43 AM

"And please, let's not have any more of your revisionist British history. Whether it was your complete failure to lift a finger to help the drowning Jews of Europe (you fought a war in spite of and not because of the Jews), or your Nazi-like behaviour in post-war Palestine, you Brits proved beyond question that had the German invaded in 1940, you'd have behaved a little better than the Poles and Lithuanians towards your Jewish citizens, and a lot worse than the French."

Spot on Hans! Bravo. It didn't take a bombing on US territory for the US to get involved did it? No, there they were from the beginning of the Third Reich, fighting Hitler to protect Jewish Europeans...

And is it just me, or weren't the worst policies towards Jews adopted *after* war began?

Stated by: Edward on October 20, 2004 2:10 AM

Joe Kennedy

Stated by: greg on October 20, 2004 8:04 AM

Harlan from Kentucky has a point. I dont know if I should tell him, but living here in S.W London I could wait forever to get a tooth capped on the NHS. Its impossible get NHS dental care hereabouts. All I get is the taxation bill to (supposedly) pay for it.

Stated by: MartinC on October 20, 2004 11:11 AM

Yet another triumph for socialised healthcare! MartinC, you could try going private and sending the bill to that great thief in 11 Downing Street.

Stated by: Pete_London on October 20, 2004 2:17 PM

Greg, Very nicely put. A national disgrace.

MartinC, I cannot believe the thing about the teeth though. London must be crawling with dentists. Most cities in the US have yellow pages filled with dental offices. All members of my family of four see a dentist twice yearly for a cleaning and check-up. We all have large white, hard Brady Bunch teeth. An ounce of prevention, you know. Maybe it's the flouride in the water.

Stated by: stacy on October 20, 2004 3:11 PM

Stacy
London IS crawling with dentists, there's one under every stone... but they are all private. Harlan from Kentucky seems to think I can get a tooth capped on the state healthcare system. My point is, I cannot. I would have to live in Scotland (where there is much higher per-capita state expenditure) before I could reasonably expect state dental care. Unfortunately I live in London (where there is much higher per-capita taxation contribution). So I pay twice for my dentist; once through so-called 'National Insurance' deducted from my salary at 22% and again, when I go and see a private dentist.

Stated by: MartinC on October 20, 2004 4:37 PM

MartinC,

22 (frig'in) % ?!! Excuse my ignorance but I cannot even comprehend paying 22% tax on salary and receiving inferior or not receving AT ALL medical/dental services.

We need reform within our system but I would rather use a scalpel than an axe to solve the problems. A NHS for the USA would be a case of a cure worse than the disease.

Remember brush AND Floss.

Stated by: stacy on October 20, 2004 6:04 PM

Fox News is having a ball with the story of the Guardian letters to Clark County Ohio. One of their reporters, a Brit, describes the Guardian as a not-very-influential newspaper of the "champagne socialists."
Re British teeth: I once had an English girlfriend, and her choppers were just fine: straight, pearly white beauties.

Stated by: Polymath on October 20, 2004 7:51 PM

TWENTY-TWO PERCENT??? Good God. Between the soul-crushing taxation, enforced support of the BBC, the encroachment of the EU, and the erosion almost to non-existence of the right to self-defense, I don't understand why you haven't had an armed rebellion over there.

Sorry -- I don't mean to be disrespectful. Just an impression from the other side of the Atlantic.

Stated by: Mike on October 20, 2004 8:24 PM

Stacy
Ok perhaps I am being disingenuous, but only a bit. British NI is not quite that bad a deal.
i. National Insurance is intended to cover all healthcare including such diverse items as state pension, unemployment benefit, hospital costs and accident and emergency, and not solely dental care, (which I cannot get though).
ii. The employee's NI contribution is notionally only 11% of salary. However my employer is compelled to pay a further 11% of my salary too, making a 22% bite in total out of the pot of money my employer must set aside to pay the cost of me. But, notionally, "I" only pay 11%.

Stated by: MartinC on October 20, 2004 8:31 PM

Mike,

Sorry to burst your bubble, but 22% of median income is about what a middle-aged self-employed person with a family of four can expect to pay for decent private medical insurance in the Northeastern US. Most people in the US get their health insurance through their employer and have no idea how much premiums are up these days. And I haven't even mentioned the high deductibles. In a worse case scenario, I might be expected to pay nearly US$20,000 out of pocket for hospitalization. The cost of health care is high everywhere.

Stated by: frank on October 25, 2004 6:45 PM

Today Fox news finally found the truth about The Guardian.

See at:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,136525,00.html

Johan Van Beek
Flanders in Belgium

Stated by: Johan Van Beek on October 28, 2004 11:09 AM

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