As someone who has actually attended the "Palace of Varieties" in years gone past, I can say categorically that Mates is by far the best performer in either House (scan through the pictures to see him in DJ). He did a wonderful Flanders and Swann plus a very witty (I think original) ditty-cum-parody of Coward with the chorus-line "don't let the buggers get you down". The place erupted. The worst, worst, worst thing I have ever seen in my life is members (I'm tempted to capitalize that) of the House of Lords doing the "Masochism Tango", one of Tom Lehrer's greatest compositions, in half-time (IT"S A BLOODY TANGO!!!!) replete with whips, castanets, rose-stems and wince-making acting. It was the first time I really wanted to emigrate (or indeed, have a lobotomy). The programme is in the loft in a box labelled "Hysterical Reality But Not Really Hysterical". God, what a trove...

But let me see, Lembit Opik. What was his act: sad, dim, wet West Cun'ry LD supporter moaning about GM food? Pollution? Iraq? If so, he dressed the bluddy part.... Otherwise, he's a tw*t....

Can't someone, please, start a movement for the abolition of politics???????

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